With the start of the 2025-26 NFL season, fans around the nation are participating in fantasy football. Plenty of videos consisting of underrated players, top picks, and recruiting methods already exist. Whether you follow these videos or not, someone is going to have the misfortune to have their star quarterback that they drafted round 2 injured all season and forced to start Geno Smith. In contrast to this near-guaranteed canon event, there is a variable of the game that can change year to year, league to league, and division to division: the punishment.
For those fantasy team managers unlucky enough to clutch last place in their league, there are an infinite number of possible punishments for them to be hazed by. The milk mile, the treacherous haircut of doom, the ballerina tutu worn to school. These are very traditional (and acceptable) fantasy punishments. However, I’m here to offer some punishments that are a bit more unique.
The Lemonade Stand
The loser must create, supply, and work a lemonade stand until they make enough money to pay the winner 20$ and everyone else 5$. All profit must come directly from the stand. Every delayed day, the loser pays 2$ extra to every member of the league.
The Waffle House
The loser has to stay in a Waffle House for 24 hours. Every waffle consumed is minus one hour.
The David Goggins
The loser has to purchase a marathon ticket and complete the race. Run, walk, or crawl, they just need to cross the finish line.
The Engineer
Loser is locked in a closet with nothing but hundreds of lego pieces and an instruction sheet. They can’t leave the closet until the build is complete. Food and water may be supplied every hour.
The Mayo Man
The rest of the league slathers up the loser in mayonnaise. Every inch of skin should be moisturized with mayonnaise. They can shower as much as they want, the pores will hold the scent for days.
