It’s not me, it’s you.

It's not me, it's you.

Chloe Sands

We are in the most beautiful and wonderful time of year…Spring!. Which is usually associated with our favorite activity. Spring cleaning. Most people clean out their rooms, cars, houses, etc, but let me tell you about my favorite type of cleaning; (more of a cleanse really) it’s called relationship cleansing.

Relationship cleansing is when you free yourself of the hardships that come along with having to meet the needs of your significant other every day, which can be a real drag. Don’t get me wrong, some relationships really are wonderful and are purely a joyful relationship with their best friend, but others feel tied down by the standards they are set by their peers.

I’m here to help you figure out how to cut these strings and let your little heart soar freely. These 5 ways to lose a significant other (or bae) are your best chance of letting him/her down in the most efficient, non heartbreaking way possible.



  • The ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ breakup: This breakup might be the most cliché, overused line in all breakups, but, in my opinion, it is the best way to go through with ending the relationship. Sometimes the person not feeling it anymore really just isn’t, and this truly might not have anything to do with their significant other, they just need a change. They believe it is cruel to keep dragging them along, and if one person isn’t happy then it’s time for a change.
  • The ghosting breakup: This is one of the absolute worst ways to end things. It leaves the other partner devastated and confused as to what happened. Completely abandoning someone you were originally invested in leaves the receiving partner to dwell on what they did wrong even though it might not have anything to do with them. This could affect his/her future relationships as well, which is not good. I do not recommend this technique as it inevitably hurts both involved.
  • The platonic breakup: This breakup is the best and easiest way to end the relationship only if both partners are on the same boat. If two people are equally not as invested as they probably should be, then a simple talk could figure everything out. Maybe y’all are not ready to be together at the moment, or perhaps y’all are just not right for eachother which is completely okay and both partners can grow from it.
  • The ‘on a break’ breakup: This breakup is extremely difficult to understand and hard to be a part of. It basically means that the two involved still care for eachother, but at the time don’t think it is best to be together. They might just need some space for a while and then reunite as normal, however they might also realize that they could be happier apart than together. This does not mean they care for eachother any less, just that the timing wasn’t right.


The text/phone call breakup: Now this is the most middle school way of ending things, so if you still do this I hope you can find someone that enjoys your Bieber haircut and Axe body spray, or Bath and Body Works perfume and monogrammed headbands. If you think you have the maturity to be in a relationship then you should make sure you handle the breakup maturely and go through with ending it in person.